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Post by Man in Black on Oct 3, 2006 15:44:59 GMT -5
Do you already have an ending in mind to tie up the story or is this an on going saga? Not that I want it to end, I was just curious if you have come to a writer's block with 117 parts you already have or is that pretty much the end?
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 3, 2006 20:40:02 GMT -5
Do you already have an ending in mind to tie up the story or is this an on going saga? Not that I want it to end, I was just curious if you have come to a writer's block with 117 parts you already have or is that pretty much the end? It's barely starting and you're already asking about the ending? I do have an ending of the story that I'm working towards. Of course, the end of the story is not the end of the saga. In other words, yes, this is going to be an ongoing saga. After this mission, I have a general idea of another mission for them to go on, and a few things that will go on in maybe two other stories. But, before I get to that, I'd better finish this one first.
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 3, 2006 20:50:51 GMT -5
It did not take long for Marna to cut off the door. She turned off her lightsaber and climbed out. Four hands grabbed her arms and helped her. She walked a short distance away with a kind woman who offered her water. Marna accepted and the woman returned to the speeder to help get Avin out. From inside, Tahsh helped as much as she could. He was soon out, and he winced as the afternoon sun got in his eyes.
"Get him into the house and check over his injuries. And contact the Public Security Force. We'll help the last survivor out." the woman ordered one of the men as two others carried Avin across the street.
Marna noticed the house Avin was taken to was the same house she saw the suspicious man hiding near.
The woman turned back to the speeder and helped Tahsh out. She had a bruise forming on the left side of her head, but seemed to be okay otherwise. While Tahsh was being supported by the helpful woman and began walking toward the road, Marna rushed to Tahsh's side.
"Master, I saw someone over there before the crash." She said pointing toward the home.
"Stay near, Marna. We don't know enough about the situation to have you wandering around by yourself." Tahsh replied.
"If it helps," the woman helping Tahsh spoke up, "I saw someone snooping around my home. By the time my men got outside, he was already gone. By the way, I'm Ebony Blackstar. I'm the leader of the Naturalists."
"Tahsh Hapay, my apprentice, Marna Veign." Tahsh introduced. "Do you know if the speeder hit anyone?" she asked, concerned.
"No. Nobody was hit. It looks like the only casualty was your pilot. Come over to my home. That bump doesn't look good, and I'd like to make sure you don't have a concussion." the woman answered.
"I appreciate your help." Tahsh said. "Did you see what happened? The view inside the speeder isn't a very clear one."
"As I said, my men came out looking for a trespasser. I came outside when I heard the pop. It looked like the speeder was hit with an ion beam or something similar. When it came to a stop I knew I had to help."
Tahsh held her head and stumbled a bit as a sudden wave of dizziness overwhelmed her.
"Master?" Marna said, supporting her as much as she could.
"You should lay down for a while." Ebony told Tahsh, who started shaking her head. When the dizziness got worse, Tahsh changed her mind.
"We need to get to the Palace, but I think you're right. After my head is back together, do you have any transportation we can use?" Tahsh asked.
"I do have a speeder that can hold all three of you, with room to spare." Ebony told her. "Come. I'll take care of you until you're ready to move on."
The Jedi followed Ebony into her home. Tahsh lay down on a couch while Avin was being taken care of. Marna sat in a chair close to Tahsh.
[glow=red,2,300]ch 3, 3[/glow]
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Post by Man in Black on Oct 3, 2006 21:38:14 GMT -5
Do you already have an ending in mind to tie up the story or is this an on going saga? Not that I want it to end, I was just curious if you have come to a writer's block with 117 parts you already have or is that pretty much the end? It's barely starting and you're already asking about the ending? I do have an ending of the story that I'm working towards. Of course, the end of the story is not the end of the saga. In other words, yes, this is going to be an ongoing saga. After this mission, I have a general idea of another mission for them to go on, and a few things that will go on in maybe two other stories. But, before I get to that, I'd better finish this one first. Lol... like I said I'm not wanting it to end, I'm just curious how you are going about writing it - like whether you had the story all in your head or if you were crafting it as you go along. I definitely don't want to know any details about the ending until I get there. It's not often I get to read a great story and get to ask the author questions and pick her mind as she unravels the events right before our eyes. I plan to take advantage of this opportunity... at least until you tell me to shut my mug
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 4, 2006 7:48:18 GMT -5
I was just playing with you. My feigned sarcastic crying thing does not work as well in text as it does in life. At first, I was just writing as I went along. When I started the story. At this point, it's like 3 days later than where we're at here where I'm still making it up as I go. And this 3 days later thing is not like the 15 year jump I did. It's days full of work and action for my characters. Busy days. The action does not end with that speeder crash. A part that I'm writing right now has a summary of 3 days on the planet, and reading it aloud, it's a couple of minutes long. Gotta update a specific being on things that happened before his/her coming into it. So I don't give things away, I'm not going to tell you any more about the future in this story than the fact that Imalka decides to... and Marna ends out... and because of that, Tahsh... And at the end of this story, Jerill... And King Agmel stays dead. I don't mind the questions you're asking. I admit, I like the attention.
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 4, 2006 8:20:41 GMT -5
Not far away at the Royal Palace, the west servants door opened slightly. A man wearing black peered into the Throne Room through a mask that covered his face. Seeing nobody, he quickly ran to the back side of the stained glass window that glowed behind the three thrones on the uppermost dais. The soft souls of his boots made little sound on the stone floor.
He gently placed the pack he carried onto the floor and pulled out a charge. Knowing Queen Scathia would soon return, and remain in this room for a good portion of what remained of the day, he set it to blow in half an hour. He attached it to the wall below the window where it would not leave a shadow from the illuminating lights and headed back to the door he had come through.
He heard footsteps outside the Throne Room approaching the large main doors. Glanceing over toward them as they began to open, he banged one hip hard against the servant's door. He suppressed a curse and slipped through, not noticing the lightsaber that had fallen from the banged hip.
The main doors opened just as the servant's door closed into its place. Queen Scathia entered with Vance Daegar, the queen's personal bodyguard, and the captain of the Royal Guard, Captain Slader.
"I am glad to hear that the Jedi requested is on the way from the spaceport." Scathia was saying to the others. "With Jedi assistance, I know we will soon be able to return to a peaceful existance. That is best for our people."
"The moment they arrive, orders are to have them escorted directly here." Captain Slader assured her.
Scathia took her place on the center throne, unaware of the deadly directional mining charge ready to blow behind her.
[glow=red,2,300]Ch3, 4[/glow] I can be so mean to my characters.
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Post by Man in Black on Oct 4, 2006 21:06:10 GMT -5
Now I definitely have a bad feeling about this
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 4, 2006 22:39:22 GMT -5
Now I definitely have a bad feeling about this You know, every time in the movies that someone says that, something bad happens. Though I admit, this one is a given. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Avin finally came out of a back room with little help. His head was bandaged and he seemed to be doing better than before. Tahsh was also feeling better after her rest. "Let's get going." he said to the Jedi, anxious to get to the Palace. Ebony led the Jedi and Avin to her speeder and they continued to the Palace, arriving without further incident as the sun was setting. Ebony left her guests at the main gate of the Palace and drove away. One of the guards at the gate recognized Avin, and saw that he had been wounded. "What happened, sir?" a guard asked. "Speeder crash. That's why we're late. I think Miss Blackstar was trying to gain a few more good points with me. She and her Naturalists came right to the rescue." Avin explained. "These are the Jedi that have been sent." "Pleased to meet you." the guard told the Jedi. "Well, I'm glad you're still alive, sir. Queen Scathia is waiting for you in the Throne Room." Avin led the Jedi through the Palace to the Throne Room. Marna marveled at the wealth displayed in the Palace. Tapestries woven through with precious gems and metals hung in the halls and thick rugs were spread on the shiny stone floor at regular intervals. Then, they came to large black wooden doors. There were two guards, one on each side. They simultaneously pushed the doors open and Marna gasped. The room was about the size of the arena she had dueled Ian in, but large green marble pillars lined the walls. A plush red carpet ran the length of the room, from the thrones to the doors. Precious gems and metals were imbedded directly in the stone walls, creating beautiful murals. There were three sets of steps leading up to the throne dais, where Queen Scathia sat. The three thrones were made of a beautiful golden wood, and gems were imbedded in each throne as well. Behind the thrones was a magnificent stained-glass window lit with a strong light behind it. The window depicted a magnificent hunting scene with many men on bordoks and hounds sniffing and baying. Standing nearby was a man dressed in brown pants and tunic, and another in the red of the Royal Guards. Avin led the Jedi toward Queen Scathia, who was seated on the center throne. She was wearing a simple black gown and silver crown. A black veil hung over her face. The two Jedi bowed to the woman. "Your Majesty, I present the Jedi Knight Tahsh Hapay and her apprentice, Marna Veign." Avin announced. "The Jedi I sent for. Welcome to Cavalet. I trust there is a good explanation as to why you are delayed, and coming before me in such a condition." Scathia said, noticing the bandage on Avin's head. Blood had seeped through. "Yes, Your Majesty. The speeder we were in had been sabotaged. We were in a crash on the way." Avin explained. "I suggest you report immediately to the infirmary then, Lieutenant Smyth. Have them take a look at your head and make sure you are fit for duty. You are excused to do so." Scathia told him. Avin bowed and left. Queen Scathia stood and walked a few steps toward the Jedi, the two men flanking her. "I apologize for the absence of Crown Prince Imalka. He is in one of his lessons at this time. I will now have Captain Slader update you on . . ." At that moment, there was a mighty explosion. For the second time since arriving on the planet, Tahsh and Marna found themselves being tossed around like rag dolls. Tahsh put her hands out and generated a bubble of the Force around herself and Marna as debris flew across the room. Queen Scathia and the two men were thrown to the floor. The stained glass window shattered, spraying everyone in range with sharp shards of glass. Tahsh looked toward Scathia and saw the pillars nearest the thrones falling, right toward the Queen. Marna also saw it. "Watch out!" Marna called out. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Thought you might like a cliff hanger. [glow=red,2,300]ch3, 4[/glow]
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Post by Man in Black on Oct 4, 2006 23:03:51 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm hanging
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 5, 2006 19:40:12 GMT -5
Scathia looked up and raised an arm over her head, as if it could stop the many ton pillar from falling on her. As the pillar fell toward the queen, it suddenly stopped, hovering in mid-air. Scathia blinked in surprise. Tahsh had her eyes closed in concentration, keeping the pillar up by the power of the Force. But it was heavy, and the effort was tremendous. The strain was evident on her face. She could not hold it for much longer.
"Run!" Tahsh said through the strain.
When Scathia didn't move, Marna quickly tuned in to the Force. She held out a hand and pulled the queen out of danger. The moment Scathia was clear, Tahsh released the pillar and it fell with a bang. The debris from the explosion settled and there was an eerie silence. Marna pushed herself off the floor. She couldn't see if the men were okay, they were on the other side of one of the pillars. She helped Tahsh over to where Queen Scathia lay face down on the floor. The back of her dress had been torn and she was bleeding badly. There was glass imbedded in her back that hurt the Queen with every breath. Tahsh put slight pressure on the Queen's shoulder.
"Stay still, Your Majesty, until help arrives." Tahsh told her.
"Is everyone alive? Your Majesty?" one of the men asked, his voice ringing through the silence.
"Marna and I are unharmed for the most part. Queen Scathia will live, but needs a medic. There's glass all over her back." Tahsh replied.
"Understood. Vance? You dead?" the Captain asked.
"Yes." there was pain in his voice. "My foot's been crushed."
Suddenly, the silence was broken by a pounding against the grand main doors. Marna looked over and saw that one of the fallen pillars blocked the doors so they could not be opened.
"Master, they will never be able to get in that way." Marna told Tahsh.
"Go put your saber to use again. Clear the path for them. I'll stay with Queen Scathia." Tahsh ordered.
She watched Marna cross the room with youthful energy, despite all that had happened already that day. Tahsh, on the other hand, felt about as old as Master Yoda, who was over 500 years old.
Marna got to the pillar blocking the door and ignited her lightsaber again. She never thought it would come in handy so soon and so many times on this mission. She began to chop the pillar into pieces small enough to move. The work was harder than she thought it would be.
As Marna cut, some guards entered the room using a servant's passage. Some rushed to where Queen Scathia laid, others to the men. A few others approached Marna and began to help clear the stone from in front of the door, and in minutes, the large doors were opened and a med team rushed in.
As the medics took care of the injured, Marna sat, exhausted from clearing the pillar. She saw that Tahsh didn't look much better than she felt. As Queen Scathia was being taken to the infirmary, a medic approached Marna.
"Are you okay?" he asked the girl.
"Yes. Just tired. It's been a long day." she answered.
"You Jedi are both the same. The woman told me much the same thing." he said, shaking his head. "I'll get someone to take you to your rooms so you can rest up. Meanwhile, I will show you and the woman to the waiting lounge."
[glow=red,2,300]Ch 4, 1[/glow]
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Post by Man in Black on Oct 5, 2006 23:16:22 GMT -5
They need some rest... and I need some rest, I'll turn in looking forward to the next installment.
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 6, 2006 15:27:45 GMT -5
Marna didn't notice how elaborate the waiting lounge was. She barely noticed the comfort of the chair she sat in, she was so tired. Never did she think she'd be nearly killed twice before the mission even got started. And between her using the Force to move Queen Scathia out of danger, and physically clearing the pillar away from the doors, a lot had been taken out of her. Tahsh sat nearby, relaxing in the Force, trying to recover some of her own strength.
When a girl a couple of years older than Marna arrived to show them to their adjoining rooms, Marna forced herself to stay awake and get up. She dutifully followed the girl to her room, Tahsh by her side. When they got to the rooms, Marna wandered to the bed and lay down, nearly asleep when her head hit the pillow.
"Rest up, Padawan. I will be right through this door." Tahsh told her, indicating the door connecting the rooms.
The girl took Tahsh out in the hallway and to her room, opening the door for the Jedi Knight.
"I hope you enjoy this room, Madame Jedi." the young girl told Tahsh.
"It should be sufficient. What is your name? You don't seem to be a servant." Tahsh pointed out.
"I am Chantell Thamas, daughter of Chief Advisor Thamas." came the reply.
"Well, Chantell, thank you for showing us to these rooms. We got Marna here just in time." Tahsh said with a weary smile.
"Yes. I had thought Jedi would be more energetic like you, not as tired as she is." Chantell told Tahsh.
"Marna is trying. It is her first time away from Coruscant. And she's still learning how to control the Force. I have had more practice at it. Truth be told, I am about as tired as Marna. I just have more experience using the Force to hide. It's been a long hard day for both of us. And we've only been on this planet for a few hours." Tahsh replied.
"I will leave you to rest then, Madame Jedi." Chantell told her.
"Please, call me Tahsh. I don't like being too formal if I don't have to."
"Very well, Tahsh. Until later."
Chantell left and Tahsh walked across the room, taking off her cloak and setting it on a nearby chair. She placed her lightsaber on a small table next to the bed and took off her boots. Tahsh was exhausted. In the Throne Room, she had sent Marna to get the doorway clear mainly because she didn't feel she could move. It takes a lot of energy to project the protective bubble, not to mention keeping that pillar from crushing Queen Scathia. Tahsh knew the best way to recover her energy is sleep.
Laying on the bed, Tahsh drifted off. She had a dream of the good times with her friends before the duel that broke the friendship between her and Jonathan.
[glow=red,2,300]ch 4,2[/glow]
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 6, 2006 16:02:53 GMT -5
When Marna woke up, she could tell the sun had set. Light from a full moon poured into the room through large windows. She shifted in the huge bed, her left side a bit sore. She had been sleeping on her lightsaber. She also noticed her boots and cloak were still on. She groggily removed them and was about to take off her lightsaber when she heard voices outside her room. She got up and walked to the door, her bare feet sinking into the plush carpet.
"Here are the rooms the Jedi are in." one voice said. The voice was definitely that of a man.
"Very good. I do not want them to start their investigation. I must speak with Jazier. I am sure he will help in the demise of the Jedi." a deeper voice replied.
"Of course. Would you like me to arrange the meeting, sir?"
"Sounds good. I would like to have the meeting . . ."
The voices trailed off as the men walked away from Marna's room. Marna stood, shocked at what she heard. Someone was planning to kill them, and possibly soon, from the sounds of it. Marna knew she had to wake Tahsh.
In her dream, Tahsh found herself in a group of padawans around Marna's age. Somehow, she knew she was around the same age as the others. Among the group, she saw her friends. She saw Kane and Geisha laughing together. Jonathan and Dee were also together, away from the other two.
A boy Tahsh did not know called out. "One, two, three, scatter!"
All the padawans ran in different directions while the boy counted to ten. For a while, the dream was the fun of the game, which appeared to be a variation of Tag. Any padawan that the boy touched froze where they were until another free padawan touched them.
As the game went on, Tahsh noticed that Jonathan was tagged several times. Each time he was, Dee would touch him, allowing Jonathan to move again.
Tahsh was enjoying the game, watching now from a distance as 'It' tagged Dee near a small lake, then took off toward the next target padawan. Jonathan stood nearby, not frozen, but not making any move to free Dee.
"Jonathan, help me!" Dee was saying. "Free me!"
Jonathan approached Dee, who began to look relieved. When the boy did not touch him, Dee got worried.
"What are you waiting for? Free me. Please." Dee pleaded.
Jonathan reached a hand out, but instead of granting freedom with his touch, he force pushed him into the water. Dee's cries ended as he went under.
Tahsh ran toward the water to save Dee. As she ran, she felt a light touch on her shoulder. Suddenly, Tahsh froze where she was, only able to move her head. It was first time in this game that 'It' managed to tag her, and it alarmed her that she couldn't move. She saw Dee being levitated out of the water, and safely out of her sight. Not far away, Jonathan got tagged again, freezing nearby. The game moved away, leaving Tahsh and Jonathan alone together.
"Johnny, why didn't you free Dee when you had the chance?" Tahsh asked.
"You know I don't like it when you call me that, Tahsh." Jonathan said to her. He turned his head and smiled an evil smile at what he saw.
"Master?" a familiar voice said. Tahsh turned her head and saw Marna. Marna had not been frozen, and could free her.
"Marna, come free me." Tahsh said.
"Come to me, girl. Free me, and I can show you true power." Jonathan said to her.
Marna looked between the two, not sure who to free with her touch. She couldn't decide.
"Tahsh? Master, please." Marna said. She was slowly walking towards Jonathan as her eyes pleaded for guidance.
"Marna, no! Don't go to him! He can only show you darkness! Stay with me! I can teach you strength and control!" Tahsh called out. "Please, don't go to him!"
"Tahsh."
"Yes, girl. Come to me." Jonathan said as Marna stepped closer to him.
"Marna, don't! Come help me! Free me!"
"Tahsh, please."
Everything began to fade as Tahsh woke up. Everything except Marna's voice.
"Wake up. I need to talk to you."
[glow=red,2,300]Ch 4, 2[/glow] I wanted to put up the dream. I like it.
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Post by Man in Black on Oct 7, 2006 0:01:05 GMT -5
I'm betting the dream as a great significance.
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Post by 4C-696E on Oct 7, 2006 9:41:28 GMT -5
You'll see. I can't put up any more for a couple of days. It's busy at work today, and I'm going to be out of town tonight and tomorrow. I'll get more up when I get back.
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