Wacky but true news headlines...

[Man in Black]

Here's a list I found on another site to start this thread off right...


Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree



Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge


Gotta love that last one

[Man in Black]

British dwarf's p&*#s gets stuck to hoover

Spoon drop saves woman from house blast

Naked woman accused of hammer assaults

Good grief!

[Valentine]

LMFAO!!!! I love "Kids Make Nutritious Snacks" and couldn't agree more!

[Drago]

admin said:

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

This has GOTTA be duct tape! Although I've never seen red duct tape. Hmm...

::scratches chin::

[Man in Black]

^Yeah I'd like to have some of that tape

Here's a couple more

Indians done in by odd coupling

Woman sets fire to ex-husband's p#$@s!

[Xenopaul]

these are hilarious mib

[4C-696E]

How about this 7-day forcast that was on weather today. It's not quite a news headline, but if the low for Thursday was accurate, it would be news.

[Man in Black]

YIKES!!!

That looks like Armeggedon or something!

I definitely don't want to be in Utah this thursday

[4C-696E]

What's scary is that's the LOW!

I just had to grab that image before KSL caught it and fixed it.

[Xenopaul]

yeah and notice that there is no friday

[4C-696E]

The friday after 'hot thursday' wasn't forcast yet, so that missing is not an error.

Though it could be seen to imply that there will be no friday after.

[Xenopaul]

lynne said:

The friday after 'hot thursday' wasn't forcast yet, so that missing is not an error.

Though it could be seen to imply that there will be no friday after.

there might be a friday after that but nobody would be there to see it

[4C-696E]

I love Jay Leno on Mondays. He does headlines from papers, and ads and such. A couple of them that had me cracking up last night are these:

Dead man still dead.

and

Hanging yourself can be painful. Let the pros do it for you.

[Man in Black]

I often see signs or funny headlines or even just hilarious misprints and wonder if I sent them in would Leno read them on the air.

[qapollo]

MIB go to youtube.com and do a search on Headlines with jay Leno...I think it was the September 17, 2007 show. He showed a 'Help Wanted' ad from the TDB on Mountain View BBQ in Columbus. "Butt Pickers Wanted"